A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side), put his hands up like claws, and roar. Step, step, ROAR, step step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. The crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing and was almost crying by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
In a preschool class I used to teach, we had two little girls who played every day that they were characters from classic Disney cartoons. One day I heard one calling the other "Allison." I didn't know a single Disney character named Allison, so I asked the little girl who she was today. She replied, "Allison Wonderland."
A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said,
"Would you like to say the blessing, dear?"
The girl replied, "I wouldn't know what to say."
The woman answered, "Just say what you hear Mummy say."
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
A Mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5-year-old, and Ryan 3-year-old. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw an opportunity for a moral lesson.
She said, "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
A convict escaped from prison by digging a tunnel. It came up outside the prison in a school playground. The convict was so happy when he emerged from the tunnel he exclaimed,"I'm free, I'm free!"
"So what," said a little girl. "I'm four."
A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end..."And lead us not into temptation", she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."
